Compulsive caretaking often grows alongside the deteriorating self-care of the compulsive drinker. If your wife is not willing to stop drinking and get connected into some kind of sober living this is Her Decision. I am going to go to an Al Anon meeting tonight to talk to someone. The law does not provide any advantages to a supporting spouse just because he or she abuses alcohol. She doesn't accept responsibility for her own actions and half the time doesn't remember what she's done. She needs help but don't know how to treat it. Until a woman accepts that she is an alcoholic and takes the necessary steps to overcome the disease, no amount of prodding or begging or demanding by husband, partner, children or other family members, friends, co-workers or others will make any difference.
Let her find her own money. Thank you for this forum. You wonder if she doesn't wish she be stopped as well, surely she knows its only a matter of time. My wife is sitting in the next room drunk, stumbling around, and listening to music, the same songs, loudly over and over again, stopping to shout disparaging things at me. His drinking started to affect all of us about 10 years ago. But in the end, it will always lead you in the right direction.
The lies hurt me the most. I have been dealing with this for over 26yrs. My definition of an alcoholic is someone who cannot follow the because of their craving for alcohol. Do Not Try To Control or To Cure It You or other close ones might surely be tempted to try everything you can to stop your spouse from drinking. Does she have any hobbies or interests? We get the full show. So much so that she probably blames the bulk of her drinking on you.
She started drinking again in the last two weeks after getting her into detox in December, it seems to occur much sooner now in between treatments. Imagine yourself sitting at a red light. I have no clue whats next. Believe it or not there are so many men affected by alcoholism that they even have Men retreats. You won't be sorry hun. I think the lies are the worst too and getting my hopes crushed everytime he drinks again.
You might be surprised to find that the person concerned agrees with you. That is not the purpose of marriage or family. Is the alcohol making her crazy? It is not easy any way you go…but the peace your lacking will carry you through if you make the change. Now I either feel angry or like I don't want to be around her. We believe quite the opposite is true.
But that explanation makes it even worse from their spouse's perspective. You carry around this sadness with you every moment. Other family members might view the alcoholic as untrustworthy, unreliable, and unworthy of respect. I do need to keep myself and my teenage children safe. It's as if she hates me so much when she drinks that her ultimate goal is to make me cry it never works; but it almost does sometimes.
Had I drank, the treatment would've stopped. Codependents need to get help the most, as they are the ones who lose out biggest with alcoholics. Have you spoken to your Dr about this? I went to the lawyer last week. And that was less than a year after going through treatment caused by getting her first dui with a bac of. Thanks for taking the time to read. You might even find some helpful friends there.
You can have seizures from withdrawal. Instead of her sensing that we might have problem, all she has been doing is drinking herself into a stuper. I offered to take him to meetings, and told him what had worked for me. He asked for my help and we became closer than ever. This is your life right now.
This drinking only happened in the last 2 or 3 years when it was catch 22 because my wife ostracised me and gave up trying to help me. Should I first get help for my depression, or should I get him to marriage counseling while he is willing? My bf of almost 5 years living together 4 is an angry alcoholic. I still get urges to drink to numb the pain. You wait at the red light because that is what you have been trained to do. I remember why I love him when I see him in his sober moments and he fixes man things around the house, or cooks an amazing meal, or plays with the boys. I plan to divorce him in a year or two. This post of yours is so long ago, you'll probably never read it.