She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? A man went home with a prostitute and while at his place he demanded that she should be covering his ears during the whole time. What do women and noodles have in common? Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites. Finding out it was traced.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth. A beautiful woman walks into a doctor's office one day and the doctor is bowled over by her stunningly good looks and all his professionalism goes right out the window. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. Another voice says, remember that you are a vet. My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
How come we spend so little time together? What do you call an extra page in the porn magazine? Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. Then all the women went along and tried to guess whose was whose. The mute started his journey with all the hope in the world days and days passed until he found the tribe. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. That way it will never come for me. Right when I came she screamed: whip me, bad boy, whip me.
Q: What kind of bees produce milk? Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags headed home for retirement. My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis! Getting down and dirty with your hoes. He sign told them the issue and they agreed to help. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? By the way, you got a nice house. Well, you might as well have been here your name came up several times.
He said well you got it again. At this point I was getting pretty hot under the collar, yet I just wanted it to be over. Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls down on top of his penis. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral? After five years, your job will still suck. Sex keeps me awake at night.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. Dirty jokes are mainly directed towards an older audience that can properly enjoy them. The only request is that I play topless as I have found that this provides me the most luck at winning. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. For weeks in advance, he coached his nutty patients to respond to his commands. The Zipper A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time.
A guy will actually search for a golf ball. How do you do it? American doctor, always want to operate. What did the penis say to the vagina? You can unscrew a lightbulb. You can negotiate with a terrorist. Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Girl: How do we play? So, her friend gave her the doctor's address and the next day she went to see him. Call and tell her about it. So she crawled to the window.
How is life like toilet paper? Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. Q: Why did God give men penises? What do you call a nanny with breast implants? Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? I was making love to this girl and she started crying. A: You can drop them off anywhere. Some stories, like my cd-cover, needs a backstory. They just put it in, make some noise during 3 minutes, before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? They are like accurate blows below the belt and are often suitable for any company; but do not personify them, as they can sound really offensive, just like the second joke.