That is an absolute fact. Weird I'm seeing all this now, while I'm in the same boat. You could try a free association exercise for this, i. And again if you can't, go to marriage counceling. When her past relationships come up, what are the usual topics? That girl that proved she wasn't loyal to you.
You will be pushed back into her mind just like the rest of the guys, and she will find someone else. As you quite correctly pointed out, the problem lies not with your girlfriend but with you. Fear is elusive because it is its own cause. Sit back and let time play its tricks so that you can observe how the situation unfolds. She really loves me, and I really love her. Jelousy is often misunderstood as a result or someone else's actions, or sombody's 'fault'.
This I still need to understand. And don't despise your true-self because God did not despise you when he created you, but he loved you as a Creation of his own, to grow and fulfill the purpose to which you were formed. Honestly, I find you lucky to have a girl at 21 years old, and she has only seven past relationships. Things she does and things she sees in her present life can reind her of those things she made with the other guys it doesnt matter if that actually happens or not. He didn't even like that girl but he thought if he could have sex with her then he could forget about my past then he will be ok with us. Consider the trust between you both and see if you could address any issues. She's dealing with your sexual past, too.
But as time passes and the outside world starts to intrude, this feeling starts to wane. Think about that hard for a while. Hang in there, I understand your viewpoint 100%. She sounds like a great person if she was honest and open enough to share this with you. Im sure you realize that, but do you acknowledge it? Instead point out that he is trying to mentally make you into something your not. Girls do make mistakes a lot so now his reason for leaving her can't be that. The future of your relationship depends on whether you are willing to let go of your insecurity and jealousy for your partner's ex.
Lately, you have been focusing on her past, but you are her present. Write down on a piece of paper as much as you can about your jealous thoughts: the kinds of things you think about, how often, where, when, etc. If so, how wrong of me is? You're looking for a solution, and that's more than a lot of people at 23 can say for themselves. And you know what, 10 years from now, when you meet the next love of your life, and you find out that she did the dirty deed way more than you feel comfortable with, what are you going to do? All these things are so obvious to me, but I'm being such a jealous guy. Currently in the same situation as you Derek.
Lots of bad characteristic traits come with promiscuity, there are lots of studies and research done, thats proven, even for men it comes with similar results, only difference - men seek women, thus with promiscuously men on top have to have great confidence and charisma, otherwise they would never get to be studs. So, if you truly love her and you want to stay with her, then you need to put it behind you and move on. Its a simple preference, you are not obligated to stay a virgin, but also not obligated to make anyone stay in a relationship, just because you were doing things in the past and not thinking that these things might bear consequences in your present and future. I'm stupid for getting mad about things she's done, especially since we weren't together at the time and even more especially because I helped cause the pain she was in. You can either substitute your thought with an image, such as that of a loved one or you could simply think about a different topic such as your shopping list. It takes time, and it is the only way. Join hands, enjoy each others' company and cherish the present rather than worry about the past.
Think you feel bad now? They could have happened ten weeks ago, ten months ago, or even ten years ago — the pain remains the same. It would not be easy for you to slow it down now physically. It hurts so much sometimes. Make effort by reading books, articles, and asking female friends what they like and hate most during sex. Whether you having been in relationships before him affect him and his values is something he needs to work out on his own. You need to open your heart, let go of the past! Good luck, if I'm too late.
If you're unable to see this I'd suggest looking at what you might've gone through because like the person before me commented, working on yourself is important. I think we both don't share similar moral consciousness. Imagine if you had sex with a women and she admitted that her ex was smaller than you, but gave her more pleasure. I actually went out and got laid- with some one else. You can't cling onto the past if you want a healthy and happy future with her. You can get a hold on your brain, and patterns of compulsive questioning and obsessive thoughts. If you had actually hurt him and if you guys were struggling to or the like, my advice to you would be entirely different.